The other day I was on Pinterest and saw one of my friends had pinned this cute little saying. It really spoke to my heart.
To this day I cannot stop thinking about that town home in West York. I’m still in love with it (so is my Husband). This obsession has made me ungrateful for what I do have. Like I’ve mentioned in my previous posts about house hunting, we don’t have to move and there’s nothing wrong with our current home. I’m just so unhappy because I wanted to move so badly and I’m sick of living in a small place. The thing is, I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD and I already own this place without paying a mortgage. We can save all of our extra money for a down payment for a better home but I’m still unhappy with living here another year or 2 years. I want a PERFECT home. I want that townhouse because in my eyes it is PERFECT! BUT, the truth is…I have everything I need right now.
I noticed one thing about myself…I try to be a perfectionist. I am one of the nicest people I know and would do anything for anyone and I was so blinded in thinking that this made me exempt from criticism and judgement. Perfectionist personalities only make you sad and more depressed (at least in my experience). I always felt that just because I don’t gossip about someone that they won’t do it about me. Boy was I wrong. I have been made fun of for stupid things that really aren’t significant and just make the criticizers look like adolescent girls and I have been complained about for insignificant things as well. It all depends on the person and how they perceive others and themselves.
One thing to remember is people criticize/make fun of others because of their own insecurities. Most of the time, myself included in this, we criticize someone else because of how we view ourselves. How can we make ourselves feel better? Well, look at that person over there…at least I don’t have acne all over my face or at least i’m not a size 20 pants…at least my husband doesn’t call me names or put me down, at least I have a college degree, at least I’m not attention seeking, that person is ugly, that person works at McDonalds, that person rents and doesn’t own their own place…etc.
Perfectionism is NOT the way to go and the sooner I (and others) realize this the better. I hate making mistakes but that’s all a part of being human. I hate being made fun of or judged but people are ignorant and will criticize no matter what even if it’s immaturity at its best. I hate looking younger for my age (one of my biggest flaws in my eyes)! What’s perfection for me?
To me perfection would be me looking my age, no one criticizing me, not making mistakes, living in a bigger and better house, having better vehicles, having a better career (I am waiting for my Masters degree on this one), I should have already had my Masters degree by now but I waited to get into grad school, I shouldn’t weigh as much as I do, I shouldn’t have to wear my heavy eyeliner (although that’s the artsy side of me and I love my makeup), I shouldn’t have to take medication for depression, being liked by everyone, and I’m sure there are more but I’m going to save you some time by not reading my ranting haha.
Instead of focusing on what I’m not or what I don’t have I should realize that what I do have is EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT NOW. It’s horrible that humans think too much about what they don’t have and what they want instead of being grateful for what they have. With that, I’ll leave you with one more perfection quote.