What’s the difference?
Since, well, forever, I have been the type to not be confident at all. Or so I thought…
I have a hard time taking compliments because I don’t want to come off as cocky. I also hate looking in the mirror every day (believe it or not). Yes, I must admit I do take good pictures but at the same time I don’t take those “selfies” because I am arrogant and conceited. I actually don’t even think about myself when posting them. Most of the time I am making fun of something in my selfies or talking about where I’m at/what I’m doing. Truth be told, I have low self-esteem and have been working on it and getting better.
I’ve had a former supervisor tell me that she never would have known that I have low self-esteem. I have also had someone close to my husband and me tell me that she never knew I hated myself so much when I had a mental breakdown at one point. So am I actually confident and don’t want to admit it or do I just know how to hide my low self-esteem pretty well? I personally don’t know the answers to that but I can say that yes, I am definitely confident when it comes to certain aspects of my life.
I bring this topic up because I have been doing a lot of thinking the past few weeks. Have you ever noticed that (whether you’re arrogant, confident, or neither) when someone attacks you the first thing you do is put them down for something stupid such as their job, their living situation, their life choices, etc.? That’s a normal human reaction. I was thinking about this because I seem to be able to “prove” myself when someone attacks me. I am willing and able to point out all of the positives and successes in my life when someone puts me down but when I’m going through every day life I don’t bother thinking about those things.
I found multiple resources talking about the difference between confidence and arrogance and will post those links at the end of this blog post. I also sometimes wonder if I’m arrogant ( I know that makes no sense at all haha) but after reading many resources I am beginning to wonder if maybe I am confident and just don’t want to come off as arrogant. I know that this is true some of the time because I remember telling multiple people that I don’t ever want to come off as full of myself and that’s one of the main reasons I don’t take compliments very well. I also was made fun of for “selfies” on my instagram (which I didn’t know I impacted so many lives with my selfies bahahaha) and was called attention seeking when that couldn’t be further from the truth. So after that incident it really made me reflect on who I am.
I’m definitely my biggest critic when it comes to a lot of things. With that being said, I’ve thought about, well, my thoughts on myself and figured out that maybe I am truly a confident woman and like most human beings that are attacked I will defend myself (whether that’s right or wrong).
I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write this next section. Should I make a list of what makes me confident or will that come off as arrogant? So, I decided I’m not going to make a list because 1. I know who I am and that’s what matters 2. I have a huge support system made up of multiple families and way too many friends to count so they know who I am and that’s what matter 3. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody 4. People who want to know me will make an effort and will see who I am 5. This blog isn’t about bragging 🙂
The end result of my thoughts have proved to me that I actually am a confident woman and I need to stop holding back. When someone compliments me I need to say thank you and not feel awkward or ashamed. When I’ve done something good for myself or others I need to be proud of that moment instead of holding it in and acting like I can’t be happy or proud of who I am. I’m tired of struggling with this. I’m tired of being a people pleaser. I need to love myself and be happy with myself first before anyone else can.
^this last link is my favorite one
That last link posted is what really made me think about who I am and how I should feel about myself. I’m so tired of criticizing myself and putting myself down around others because I’m too frightened of coming off as arrogant. If someone doesn’t know the difference between arrogance and confidence and want to call me or anyone else arrogant then that’s on them. That’s a true reflection on how they feel about themselves.