Fairy tales and romance movies are a joke. Those of you who are married have already figured this out, I’m sure!
Every marriage is different (duh) and so are the struggles. Unlike our beloved fairy tales with happy endings, real marriages face a multitude of different struggles (deaths, financial troubles, infidelity, arguments, etc.). What makes a marriage strong is when two people can work
through whatever is troubling in their lives and come out stronger than ever! As humans we tend to measure how bad a situation is so sometimes one couple’s struggle might not seem to be that “big of a deal” to others. Regardless of what is going on we should always remember that shit happens and one person’s struggle shouldn’t be deemed insignificant just because you don’t find it to be a big deal.
So, anyway, onto my own marriage…
As all of my readers know, we constantly struggle with our work schedules (mainly his). It really puts a damper on our relationship. I’m going to the beach twice this June and both are without my husband. It’s no secret that I HATE this! 😞 Brandon has been working 12 days straight pretty much every other week and finally had his weekend off this week. In order to keep some sanity, we planned outings with friends and date nights! The struggle is hard though, he doesn’t sleep well (he works 3rd shift), he can be grumpy, and if he is working 12 in a row we barely get to see each other and never have many outings. The struggle is real my friends!
Brandon started taking medicine for ADHD about 6 months ago. We’ve noticed that his tired “grumpiness” had gotten worse and had turned into increased agitation. Now, those who know us personally, know that he is so laid back and never yells. For the longest time he has been extremely cranky, nit picky, on edge, etc.
He stopped taking his pills days ago and our relationship has been great! My laid back, fun, kind, non picky husband is back! Turns out that one of the main side effects of his med is agitation. That agitation has subsided drastically and things are seriously wonderful!
I’ve had my share of mental illness symptoms as well. Since i was about 15, I suffered from clinical depression. After my mom passed away when I was 20, I started seeing a counselor on campus at my college. We had done a test and found I was indeed, clinically depressed. About 2 years ago, I talked to my doctor and have been on Zoloft ever since. The Zoloft is working great! Well, this past February my Dr wanted me to wean off of it and stop taking it. HORRIBLE IDEA!
I not only had the WORST withdrawal symptoms, but my depression came back with a vengeance! Those were the worst two weeks of our marriage, I swear. I put my husband through hell and it wasn’t pleasant for me either. I almost ruined some friendships too. 😞 Luckily, I said F*** it and went back on my pills after calling my doctor. Things have been fine since!
I bring these situations up because sometimes we don’t realize internal factors can play a huge part in relationships. With me, we knew exactly what was going on but with Brandon it took us a while to figure out his medication was making him cranky and no fun to be around. We will be switching his meds, needless to say…haha
Before jumping to conclusions such as, “you’ve changed and for no reason” , “you don’t love me any more”, “you aren’t happy in this relationship any more”, etc. stop to think about other factors! Are you or your spouse on new medication? Is there a lot of stress going on? Any outside factors playing into new behaviors or attitudes? Does someone need to be diagnosed with possible mental illness (depression, anxiety, or worse)? Pregnant and not know it? Hormones jacked up because of new birth control?
Think about these things!
Stress is real ladies and gentlemen, and truly causes a lot of negative emotions and feelings. Stress has played a huge role in our lives as well (before and during being medicated lol). Our medical histories just made it worse but now things are back to normal and we couldn’t be happier! 😊😊
Well, I hope this post was of some help to any reader who comes across it and that it inspires people to think of other factors such as medicine or health problems and not just the typical issues.