Me, Myself, & I

A close friend of mine had visited this evening & as usual we engaged in some deep conversations. One of those conversations was about the whole “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. Throughout the years I’ve been told I look intimidating, badass, “the girl you don’t mess with”, & a bitch. Although I’m sure some of those titles stand true in specific situations (haha), people get to know me & their judgments change immediately. People end up loving me & realizing I’m the opposite of these things. These same people told me how shocked they were to find out how much of a “goody two shoes” & sweet I am.
So what do they mean by “goody two shoes”, “innocent”, “sweet”, “humble”, etc.?

Here are a few true facts about my character & self in general that some know & others may not…

  1. Grew up a Christian & graduated from a baptist school
  2. My husband is the ONLY man I’ve had any type of sexual contact with! Go ahead, ask him yourself…he was just as shocked as everyone else haha! (& yes that means I married the man I lost my virginity to!)
  3. I’m humble & I put others first way too much (is that a negative? or a positive?) & I love being the reason for someone’s happiness (wait, does that make me sound self-centered?)
  4. Not only am I a crazy cat lady, but I love snakes. My husband refuses to allow me to get one…that being said I always get my way 😉
  5. I’d rather give gifts than receive
  6. I never got in “trouble” as a child (detention, principal’s office, etc.) & I cried if I got criticized harshly
  7. I give people the benefit of the doubt even when I hear nothing but bad things about them (& yes, it bites me in the ass). I am not naive though! I keep in mind the “bad things”.
  8. I have pervasive depressive disorder, but no one believes me because my symptoms only happen when I’m at home (usually at night) or around my loved ones
  9. I’m passive aggressive…yet, I’m not a pushover. The “bitch” part does come out when I’m taken advantage of.
  10. I try to fight/argue with facts & avoid confrontation if I don’t have facts. I also panic if my husband yells/gets into arguments with other people. I hate when people attack others for being someone they aren’t because they don’t have facts & only use the reflection of themselves to base judgment on others.
  11. I don’t judge people on their “demons” & bad habits;
    I judge people on how they treat others, how they talk about others, if they’re selfish, sometimes their grammar (lol), how they drive (haha), & if they play victim/use excuses (I’m sure you know the kind I’m talking about).
    Basically, if you are selfish, blame others for your problems, never take responsibility for yourself, & treat others like crap because of your own insecurities then stay away from me. Please & Thanks 🙂 
  12. I hate exercise. So much so, that when I even think about exercise I become depressed & cry. I’ve tried & failed multiple times at engaging in exercise & forcing myself to be happy with it.
  13. I have low self-esteem issues (no one believes this either & are shocked when I have mental breakdowns!) Apparently I “handle myself well”…
  14. I believe education/intelligence is one of the best things anyone can have (not necessarily college, but I can’t stand when someone can’t engage in intelligent conversations). If this makes me a snob so be it.
  15. A best friend once said, “If Tammie hasn’t insulted you then she doesn’t like you”. I’m super sarcastic with my husband, loved ones, & friends. If I’m insulting you then you know you’re loved!
  16. I tend to cuss like a sailor, but only around my best of friends & close family. I know there’s a time & place to let loose & when to watch my tongue.
  17. I hate gossip…but love to hear it (ugh I’m horrible! & that makes no sense, but I’m sure some people out there understand what I mean. I try not to engage in it much, but love to hear it from others lol After it’s said though, it literally goes out the other ear & I don’t spread it further. I also tend to forget what was said.)
  18. I’m addicted to food. When I try to change back to a nutritarian lifestyle, it takes so much energy, tears, & stress. My food cravings are very intense & it makes me so angry that I cry & engage in self-injurious behavior (I can’t believe I admitted that).
  19. l am my own worst enemy…
  20. I’m the product of Nurture….the gene pool for some of my biological family members isn’t the best & I did inherit depression & a few good aspects, but I truly am the product of Nurture. (nature vs. nurture)

So there ya have it, I’m still a mystery & these 20 facts aren’t all there is to me. I’m a walking contradiction at times & very well rounded.

Since this blog is all about me, I’ll share some photos below!

2016-08-14_0001

All photos were taken by Erin Keough Photography. From left to right…My Penn State University senior photo, a christmas photo from 2013, during our 3 year marriage anni shoot, & my most current photo for my business.

Ah heck, why not share a few selfies?? Below are some selfies & a few headshots by Erin Keough Photography…

2016-08-15_0001.jpgLeft to Right: the first 2 are cropped boudoir shots, #3 is from my trash the dress session, two blondie photos from last summer (2015), & the rest are from the past 2 years. The last one on the bottom right is the most recent besides my professional head shots.

 

 

 

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