Actions vs. Words

Do actions really speak louder than words? 

Yes…most of the time…
I do believe this to be true. However, there are scenarios when words should either not be used or should be looked at more in depth for meaning. Sometimes people’s actions are fake & sometimes people’s words mean everything. I will obviously share some examples of what I mean, but first let’s look at the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.”  
People say things they don’t mean when they’re angry or even sad. Kids will say “I hate you mommy/daddy” when they don’t get their way, but they get over it & obviously show love through their actions. Some people will say they’re “great” or they’re “hard workers” or whatever the scenario yet their actions do not match their obvious delusion. When something is visible it is usually more believable. Heck, let’s take the Jesus scenario. Jesus’ followers claimed he was the son of God, but others didn’t believe it until he died on the cross. The action of dying on the cross opened up many eyes. This really holds true when people say they’re something yet their life shows zero proof of such things. If you claim to be someone/something with your words, your actions & lifestyle should be able to back it up.

Toxic people?
Now, when do words speak louder?  Some people are just predisposed to being constant complainers/critics. These people will constantly complain about friends or family, but still hang out with those same people. Sometimes these people really are just insecure & negative, but still love the people they complain about & will do anything for those people. Other times though, people are two-faced/fake. First off, you shouldn’t be constantly finding the “wrongs” in people & if you are then you literally need to take a look at yourself, but if you’re only friends with someone to gain something from that friendship then you’re two-faced & fake. I’ve met both types of critics.
I’ve met people who always seem to find something negative to say about their friends or family behind their backs, but kiss those peoples’ asses in reality.  It is one thing to vent, we all do it, but if you find yourself always looking for something to complain about you should take a step back and re-evaluate the relationship or yourself as a person. Venting & bullying are 2 different things. The line becomes blurred because I sometimes do not know how to tell if someone is fake or just an insecure, negative human being. I’ve heard people say pretty unforgivable things about others, but remain in a relationship with them. This puts “actions speak louder than words” right into the garbage can. Words hurt. Either you’re very negative or you are using people. Either way, it is a you problem & should be addressed. It is very, very hard to agree with “actions” when words are toxic & abusive. We all get something out of relationships we possess, however, if you really cannot stand a person then you should move on instead of faking the friendship to gain something.
Coming from a professional standpoint, Narcissists are a wonderful example of words speaking louder than actions. These individuals literally “act” nice, successful (some are), & caring but it’s only to manipulate & gain something from people. They really don’t actually care or love the person they’re using. Eventually when they’re called out on their bullshit, their true feelings come out in the form of words & abuse. Their actions are fake & words are too, but the words come out true once they’re “found out”.

Personal Story 
I rarely complained about friends & pretty much only find the good in people. I noticed this changed when I was surrounded by three different people for the past several years. These individuals would constantly critique their friends & my other friends or family members & I was sucked into it. I then started to complain about those same people & wasn’t even aware of it for years. I finally realized it & also checked myself on how I personalized other people’s problems. That’s not me! It’s very true how you begin to act like those you’re surrounded by the most.
I had one friend in the past who I started to complain about because of her toxic intimate relationships. I wanted the best for her, but she constantly put herself into tough positions. To me, this wasn’t being two-faced (especially because we argued about it together), but a concerned friend. However, I would personalize her issue & let it affect me so deeply. That was a problem…I’ve had another scenario for the past few years where I allowed another’s negativity about someone affect me personally & I lost a friendship out of it. I had to re-evaluate the situation and realize I wasn’t the problem, the person being talked about wasn’t the problem, & I made it a personal problem (which is completely wrong). I won’t talk badly about someone & then be their friend. I lost the friendship because I am not two-faced/fake, but I also became a critic toward that person ONLY based on her “friend” who talked badly about her, constantly.

I’m always uncomfortable when people simply vent or say ignorant things about those they supposedly love to be around. Since my personal revelation, I have learned to stay out of people’s negativity, try my best to not join in on it, & focus on my own life.

I bring these scenarios up because actions do speak louder than words, but sometimes words have more meaning & people’s actions are fake. People think these scenarios stop once high school graduation is over, but unfortunately they continue to happen. It is human nature I suppose…How sad.



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